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JOKES COLLECTION
   School Jokes
   Elephant Jokes
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   Silly jokes
   Other jokes
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JOKES COLLETIONS

OTHER JOKES

Husband- 'I have Rs. 10/- we will do
full monthly shopping.'
Husband- 'I have 7000/- for December Shopping Hope that will suffice.'
   
Mother - 'Son take one paisa your daily kharchi Son -Mummy, I have taken Rs. 100/- from cup board, my daily pocket money
   
Engineer Saahib your Paghaar of
Rs. 30/-
(Thode Khatiay Ghanne Barkat)
Your pay packet sir! Rs. 17,561/-
I don't know how to make both ends meet
   
Excursions on canal banks with home made food & mangoes with cost effective forms of activity Picnics at farm houses with drinks & pop music for ladies & gents - cost thousands in single day.
   

We used to sleep in open Vaan Charpai with cotton farasi & chadar in cool fresh air. It was very healthy - No fans, no coolers.
We sleep in rooms with Air-conditioners on foam cushions never washed, soaked in perspiration & dirt -most unhealthy
   
Daughter-in-law always covered their faces from elders The daughter-in-laws wear skirts, short sleves & drink whisky with father-in-law & other
   

Honey moon was never heard or known
Honey moon in star hotels/foreign countries
   
Girls never went out of the house Now they return after mid night alone
   
Smoking cigarettes was treated as a very bad habit. Now they take Heroin, Hashish (Brown sugar)
   
Girls were always at home attending to domestic chores They are mostly out to Clubs, Discos & Pool games!
   
Ladies used to stitch their simple clothes at home Designer dress cost 10,000 to 25,ooo & up
   
People had good health due to eating simple and homely food twice a day & nothing in between. Most of us suffer from ailments and serious diseases due to heavy & fatty foods, snacks and drinks all through the day!
   
Sense of seeing, hearing and teeth were intact. Baldness & gray hair were rare till ripe age. Young persons are bald or with grey hair, wear spectacles, have lost teeth & look old in their 30s 0r 40s.
   
Guests were genuinely and sincerely welcomed Welcome dear, but you have come at wrong time- we are just leaving for Nasik for a week.
   
Children had no courage to talk to father.
Son "Ami get me permission from Dada to go to excursion & get me Paaulee (4 annas)."
Son "Dad I am going for picnic with my gang. I have taken Rs. 1000 from your Wallet & taking your car - bye see you…"
   
Guests were entertained with sincere affection at home with wholesome food and little expenditure. Guests are taken to 5-star hotels where thousands are spend just for slow
   
Mother tended and brought up 5-6 children by themselves with no fuss.
For one or two children they keep one or more maids & ayaas!
   
They used to sleep early & get up early enjoying best health. They sleep late & wake up late and have health problems
   
Houses were large, open & airy having 'Otaaqs' (Big Halls) accommodating 30-40 persons Houses small, no proper ventilation, just sufficient for a couple only
   
The Education fees were normal.
'Dada please give us college fee Rs. 2/- & sister's school fee 50 paise

The school/college fees are very high plus private coaching runs in thousands
   
The cotton shirts & pants cost few rupees They cost a fortune
   
For Music as hobby, Harmonium costed Rs. 15/- Now children buy Casino players costing thousands.
   
Sweater and Muffler were knitted at home All shopping done from markets.
   
Singers had such highpitch, (buland) voice, it reached thousands without mike
Even for 8-10 persons Hi Fi music is played on 2000 watt sound system
   
No one ever borrowed money Even well-to-do take loans worth lakhs to show off
   
Dear children in 1940 you went to Naani in Larkana, in 1941 to Chaachi in Sukhur. This year we will go to Puffi in Vavabshah.
Hey Kids! Previous years we went to Hongkong & Singapore. This year we go to London……!
   
Food was made and eaten at Home pc Families invariably lunch & dine out in star hotels.
   
Inspite of no electricity & other comforts in rural areas, toppers & gold medallists came from these areas With all facilities of light, computers, AC & hardly any toppers & medallists
   
Children carried less books and more knowledge. Beasts of burden……
More books and shallow knowledge
   
"Son take one paisa & buy two Dal Pakwans in the recess" "Sunny take Rs. 1000 buy pizza & fruit juice in the interval.

Judgement

An Indian defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer.
"If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.

As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"
"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."
"But I did send them."
"What?? You did???"
"Yes. That's how we won the case."
"I don't understand," said the lawyer.
"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."
Who's God
Late one night at the mental hospital one inmate shouted, "I am Jawaharlal Nehru!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!!!"

Seema's help
Little Seema was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.

"Seema," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Srinath's place."
"I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Seema. "Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"

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